How are twins made?

How twins are made...I thought this was just plain cute.

So this is how they do it...

One of life's great mysteries solved.

(Only twenty years ago, no one would've understood this joke!)

 

 Smilin', aren't ya?!? 

Topic: E-Mail Pass-Me_Ons

A dog had followed his owner to school. His owner was a fourth grader at a public elementary school.

However, when the bell rang, the dog *sidled inside the building

and made it all the way to the child's classroom before a teacher noticed and shooed him outside, closing the door behind him.

The dog sat down, whimpered and stared at the closed doors.

Then God appeared beside the dog, patted his head, and said,

 

'Don't feel bad fella'...they won't let ME in either'.

 

*sidled

sidle

v sidle [ˈsaidl]

to go or move in a manner intended not to attract attention or as if one is shy or uncertain He sidled into the room. 

Zucchini Meat Loaf
Topic: Recipe of the day

Betty Crocker Kitchens

Window Replacements

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that
expensive double-pane energy efficient kind, and today, I got a call from
the contractor who installed them.

He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year
ago and I still hadn't paid for them.

Hellloooo,........... just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am
automatically stupid. So, I told him just what his fast talking sales
guy had told me last year, that in ONE YEAR these windows would
pay for themselves!
 
Helllooooo? It's been a year! I told him.

 

There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally
just hung up.

He never called back. I bet he felt like an idiot.

The Good Old Days

Grandpa and Grandma were sitting in their porch rockers watching the beautiful sunset and reminiscing about "the good old days," when Grandma turned to Grandpa and said, "Honey, do you remember when we first started dating and you used to just casually reach over and take my hand?"

Grandpa looked over at her, smiled and obligingly took her aged hand in his.

With a wry little smile, Grandma pressed a little farther, "Honey, do you remember how after we were engaged, you'd sometimes lean over and suddenly kiss me on the cheek?"

Grandpa leaned slowly toward Grandma and gave her a lingering kiss on her wrinkled cheek.

Growing bolder still, Grandma said, "Honey, do you remember how, after we were first married, you'd kind of nibble on my ear?"

Grandpa slowly got up from his rocker and headed into the house. Alarmed, Grandma said, "Honey, where are you going?"

Grandpa replied, "To get my teeth!"

Grandma was out walking with her four-year-old granddaughter.
The child picked up something off the ground and started to put it in
her mouth. Grandma took the item away from her and asked her not to do that.

"Why?" the Granddaughter asked..
"Because it's been on the ground; you don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and
 probably has germs," Grandma replied.
        
At this point, the granddaughter looked at Grandma with total admiration and
asked,

"Grandma, how do you know all this stuff?  You are so smart.."
        
Grandma was thinking quickly.

"All Grandmas know this stuff, It's on the Grandma Test."
"You  have to know this stuff or they don't let you be a Grandma."  
        
They walked along in silence for two or three minutes, but the child was
evidently pondering this new information.  


"Oh .......I get it!" she beamed.  
"So if you don't pass the test, you have to be the Grandpa!"
 
"Exactly," replied Grandma,
with a big smile on her face.     

 Sounds like a Winner Dr. John Gray who wrote Women are from Venus Men are from Mars

The Key to Life, Love and Energy (John Gray Ph.D)

New BooK

Venus on Fire Mars on Ice

venus_fire-mars_ice

Hello World

Are we happy today?

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Maxine

 OH WELL THAT'S LIFE!

 

 

Labor Saver Mixed Grill
Topic: Summer Recipes

 Labor Saver Mixed Grill
   

This incredible combination of grilled chicken, pork,
       salmon and sausage is a great way to satisfy everyone with
       their special favorite. Prep Time: approx. 10 Minutes. Cook
       Time: approx. 15 Minutes. Ready in: approx. 45 Minutes.
       Makes 8 servings.
    1 package McCormick®
       Grill Mates® Zesty Herb Marinade
    1/3 cup water
    3 tablespoons white vinegar
    3 tablespoons oil
    2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
    2 pork loin chops
    1 (3/4 pound) salmon steak
    1/2 pound Italian sausage links

    Directions
    1 Combine Marinade mix, water, vinegar and oil in a small
       bowl. Place chicken, pork, salmon and sausage links in a
       single layer in a large, self-closing plastic bag. Pour
       marinade over meat and close bag. Turn bag gently to coat all
       sides of meat. Refrigerate 30 minutes or longer for extra flavor.
    2 Remove meat from marinade. Place meat on preheated
       grill. Discard any leftover marinade. Grill chicken and pork
       5-7 minutes per side or until done. Grill salmon and
       sausages 8-10 minutes or until fish flakes easily with a fork
       and sausages are well done.

    Approximate Grilling Times for Chicken and Poultry